Have you ever had a conversation over… and over… and over – so many times that even though the issue never got resolved, you just don’t understand the point of beating your head against the same wall anymore?
I think everybody has a conversation like that with somebody in their life from time to time. Typically, what I’ve found is, it’s not that the other person doesn’t care, or that either person is being deliberately difficult or dense with their conversation and communication.
It’s that something in each person’s perspective, or starting point, or something in their listening, means they don’t actually hear what you think they hear. And then the intention gets a little bit murky, and they don’t understand the importance.
What if what you’re trying to convey is a need for you? Something that without it your life sucks! It drives you crazy! It makes you nuts!
But for the other person it’s kind of a side benefit, or ‘it would be nice?’ It’s kind of low on their priority list…. or it really doesn’t matter to them AT ALL… and they don’t understand why it’s a big deal to you.
If you try and convey a need in a manner that doesn’t actually tell them what about it is so important to you… or how it can contribute to your happiness… or a better frame of mind… or a more relaxed environment – whatever it provides to you – they don’t understand why you care so much, and they definitely don’t understand why they should care.
It’s not important to them; it seems like a simple thing that shouldn’t be that big a deal to you, so why does it create all of this drama and friction? They just don’t understand. They don’t get it.
You’ve been as clear as you know how, but the differences in your perspectives, the differences in how you articulate things, the differences in the words you use, actually mean you’re speaking in a totally different language!
If I’m trying to speak to somebody in English and they’re listening in French, guess what, a lot gets lost in translation. So maybe I can help you figure out what the ‘missings’ are, the gaps that need translating. Help you translate what you are trying to say into words that both of you understand, and get your needs met. Finally resolving that totally aggravating, ‘beat your head against a wall’ conversation.
Give me a call. Set up a free consultation appointment.
Let’s see if we can’t bring some resolution and peace back into your conversations!