We may not consciously think about how we show up, but the world notices anyway.
Theoretically that shouldn’t matter – we are who we are. But do we always show up the same way? The reality is we often don’t.
This is affected by many factors: our confidence in a given situation; our social conditioning; previous life experiences; who we are with; our comfort level for where we are….the list goes on.
The biggest influence in all of this is our mindset. How we choose to evaluate and assign meaning to all the events we’ve experienced.
One person might view the influence of their parent growing up and be just like their parent- others might decide “I’m not going to be like that when I grow up!” Sometimes it’s a conscious choice and sometimes it just seems to happen.
Similarly, some people are terrified to stand up and talk in front of a group of people, while others are very comfortable with it.
So what’s the difference?
Awareness and choice.
Awareness means paying attention to the signals our body and brain are sending us, figuring out why we are getting those signals, and then CHOOSING the meaning we want to assign to those signals under those circumstances and how we want to respond.
Here’s an example:
You may or may not be aware already, but I spent some time with a circus. I met some amazingly talented and athletic people. At one point, I decided to see how it felt to learn to do flying trapeze (I also learned to walk on stilts, but that’s a story for another time).
As I climbed the swaying rope ladder to the trapeze platform, far above the ground, my heart was racing, my hands were a little sweaty, and I had to consciously slow my breathing.
And when I was standing on the platform it didn’t get any better!
My body was in a physical fight or flight prep response. My brain was trying to tell me I needed to STOP what I was doing, RIGHT NOW, and get safely back on the ground.– because I might DIE!
But I was choosing to do this for fun! On purpose! Eyes wide open!
So I chose to interpret those physical signals as EXCITEMENT.
That awareness and ability to choose made all the difference in how I showed up.
I chose courageous and brave, looking for new adventures… and so I was that.
You can have that choice too!
Figure out who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to show up. Then notice when your brain & your body want to keep you “safe.” If there’s real danger to your health and safety – absolutely listen to what’s going to keep you alive and healthy.
But what about when it is “what if,” or “maybe,” or “not actually” danger…. if the benefit outweighs the risk?
Choose to show up the way you want to be seen it the world!
Choosing confidence keeps you safer than you might think.
This applies at work, in social situations, and walking down the street at night.
Networking is one of those places where your brain wants to keep you safe from a situation you don’t need to be saved from. You feel vulnerable, so you ‘put on’ a different you. You might pick the ‘don’t look at me’ version, or the ‘aloof, armored’ version, the ‘life of the party’ version, or other variations that aren’t truly you.
If networking feels scary for you, and you want help showing up confidently as YOU, be sure to join me for my Networking & Presence virtual workshop Wednesday, October 18th, 2023 at 10am PT (11am MT/12pm CT/1pm ET).
You can learn how to stand in your power so people want to connect with you!
Space is limited, so register soon:
