Leadership takes many forms.
The obvious one is the people at the front of the room, the head of an organization, in the boardroom. The less obvious are those that show up in a way that earns respect, makes people feel welcome and supported, and leads by example.
Leadership is more than just a title, it includes how you show up, what you say, how you interact with others, and how (if) you provide encouragement and support.
Ideally those with titles and roles that say they are leaders also exhibit the characteristics and behaviors that make a good leader. That may not always be true, but for those who care, there are always ways to improve: books, videos, courses, trainings, and coaches.
Leadership characteristics are not limited to those with titles. Often there are people who display all the behaviors of a good leader that “lead from the back.”
They are the individuals who encourage their teammates and offer support both up and down organizational levels. They show that they care, they are interested in everyone’s ideas, they stand with you when it’s hard, and buoy you up when you are low. They also let you know when you overstep, are off target, or out-of-line – and they do so in a way that guides you back to what works best without unnecessary embarrassment or public correction.
These are the individuals that drive the day-to-day culture of a team or an organization. They are the people who make each day a little easier or a little brighter.
What if you can be that person?
Maybe you already are that person?
But maybe you aren’t that person yet, but you’d like to become more comfortable in that role.
One place you can be that person is in a networking situation. Networking situations often feel daunting, because it is a setting that makes most people (even the extroverts) feel uncomfortable.
Walking into a room full of strangers causes all our survival instincts to go on high-alert. Humans have banded together in communities for generations as a means of safety, so your survival brain views approaching a group where you likely know no one as a dangerous situation.
You know that the reality is that you are not in any actual danger, but you still need to get your instinct brain to relax. Luckily a few deep breaths and reminding yourself that you’ve been talking to new people successfully for years is often all it takes to tell your primitive brain ‘I’ve got this.’
Once you are in, building rapport and connections will further calm that inner voice. And this is where those leadership characteristics can be strengthened as well.
Small acts or gestures can go a long way.
Here are some simple things to try:
- If you are near the entrance to a networking event and a new person arrives looking uncomfortable – smile and make eye contact briefly.
- Bonus points if you are comfortable engaging in conversation, but not required.
- If you are talking with a couple of people and notice someone awkwardly standing nearby like they want to join and don’t know how – shift to create an opening so they can join you and smile in invitation.
- Bonus points if you include them in the conversation. Perhaps “I find this topic so fascinating, don’t you?” Or ask them what they think or how they might contribute.
- If someone “stabs you” with a business card as part of their introduction – redirect kindly saying something like “Hi, I like to get to know people a little bit so I better understand who they serve and what they provide. That way we will have a better sense of whether we will make good referral partners or not. Tell me what you love to do?”
- Hint: people are usually more comfortable talking about themselves, and by asking what the ‘love to do’ (or are passionate about) instead of ‘what they do,’ you get to learn more about who they are and what they care about.
These are just some suggestions to get you started.
Networking is a great way to practice showing up a little bit more than you would normally, to practice noticing when others look like they could use some support, and to practice leading in small but impactful ways.
And trust me when I say, the more you lead from the back, the more opportunities will come your way to lead from the front – you then get to choose if you want to.
I know some of you might be thinking – “I never want to lead from the front!” It’s way to visible, it takes too much energy, or other reasons it isn’t what you want.
All of that is valid, and not everyone wants to lead from the front – which is good, as that would get really crowded and confusing.
But those that lead from the back also get other opportunities that you might want.
The key here is CHOICE.
You increase your comfort level with being a little uncomfortable, expand your skill set, and get more choices.
So many possibilities come with having choices. Step into your leadership zone and create choices for yourself.
And if that feels too big without some support, reach out – I can help with that.
